TRUSTED RESOURCES
CLARITY & DIRECTION
There is a sea of resources out there for people who have experienced challenges in their relationships, struggled with issues of narcissism or experienced abuse. Sometimes it is hard to know who to trust and what information is reliable.
On this page, Dr Ruth Ann has brought together trusted science based resources to help you nurture yourself and build stronger relationships based on compassion and reciprocity. There are also links to colleagues who may be able to provide additional care and support if you need it.
We hope it helps give you clarity and direction so you can find high quality resources that serve your needs.
Whilst every effort has been made to ensure the quality of recommended links, Dr Ruth Ann Harpur cannot be held responsible for any information on external websites or the services they provide.
Psychiatry colleagues
Sometimes, psychological therapies and support are all that is required. Sometimes, it may be helpful to have the support of an experienced psychiatrist for diagnosis and medical treatments, especially if you are experiencing significant anxiety, depression or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Dr Ruth Ann has worked closely with psychiatrists at Sloane Court Clinic in Chelsea in London and Dr Dmitri Popelyuk at Harley Street in London and has consistently found them to provide excellent, sensitive and compassionate care. Both are able to provide face to face or remote appointments.
You can find more information about what they offer and/or book an appointment via their websites
Sloane Court Clinic
Dr Dmitri Popelyuk
Resources to build self compassion
Learning to love, nurture, strengthen and protect ourselves from a place of deep self compassion is a vital part of therapy. These are some of our most popular resources (all are clickable links):
- Kristin Neff's Self Compassion Main website
- Kristin Neff's TED talk
- Kristin Neff, Self Compassion
- Kristin Neff, Fierce Self Compassion (highly recommended for abuse survivors)
- Dan Harris, The Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself TED talk
- Brene Brown, Listening to Shame
- Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance
- Tara Brach's Facebook page - watch for her frequent live streaming compassion mediations
- Paul Gilbert, Mindful Self Compassion
- Paul Gilbert, Compassion (workshop recording on YouTube)
- Paul Gilbert, Compassion for the Dark Side (lecture recording on YouTube)
- Podcast episode with Niall Breslin & Kristin Neff - A Compassionate Mess
- Beautiful self compassion meditation from Kristin Neff
- How to fail podcast with Elizabeth Day (be inspired with stories from well known people about their experiences of failure, disappointment and shame)
Resources to improve your relationships
Some of our favourite resources for improving relationships between friends, within families and between partners (all clickable links):
- Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight
- Robert Leahy, The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship
- Daniel Siegel, The Neurobiology of We
- Terry Real, Us: Reconnect with Your Partner and Build a Loving and Lasting Relationship
- Michelle Skeen, Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships
- Dr Nedra Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace
- Dr Nedra's lively instagram page focused on boundaries and healthy relationship skills
- Kelly Bryson, Don't be Nice, be Real: Balancing Passion for Self with Compassion for Others
- Alexandra Solomon, Reimagining Love podcast
- Michaela Thomas, The Lasting Connection: Developing Love and Compassion for Yourself and Your Partner
- Holly Richmond, Reclaiming Pleasure: A Sex Positive Guide for Moving Past Sexual Trauma and Living a Passionate Life
- Emily Nagoski, Come As you Are
- Lori Brotto, Better Sex Through Mindfulness
- Lori Brotto, Better Sex Through Mindfulness Workbook
Understanding Narcissism
Unfortunately a great deal of social media content about narcissism is a long way from the current scientific evidence on narcissism. It is also full of hatred and demonisation for people who struggle with issues of narcissism. The following resources reflect contemporary thinking about narcissism. My hope is these will be helpful resources to those who have suffered hurt as a result of emotionally abusive behaviour by a narcissistic person, those navigating challenging relationships with a narcissistic person and those struggling with issues of narcissism who want help to grow and change (all clickable links):
- My friend and mentor, Wendy Behary's website
- Wendy Behary, Disarming the Narcissist
- Craig Malkin's YouTube channel
- Craig Malkin, Rethinking Narcissism
- Mark Ettensohn's Heal NPD Youtube Channel
- Mark Ettensohn, Unmasking Narcissism: A Guide To Understanding the Narcissist in Your Life
- Eric Perry, Recovery for the Narcissist Podcast
- Laurie Helgoe, Fragile Bully: Understanding Our Destructive Affair With Narcissism in the Age of Trump
- The Nameless Narcissist Youtube Channel: This is a no holds barred perspective on NPD from someone with an NPD diagnosis. Jacob is thoughtful and insightful and shares up to date evidence from the scientific literature. Some people who have experienced challenges in a relationship with a narcissistic person may find it helpful to understand more about narcissism and NPD through the lens of someone who lives with it). People struggling with narcissism may find it a helpful to hear from someone whose experiences may resonate with their own.
Self help resources
Some of our favourite self help resources (all clickable links):
- Centre for Clinical Interventions Self Help Workbooks
- Jeffrey Young, Reinventing Your Life
- Gitta Jacob, Breaking Negative Thinking Patterns
- Helen Kennerley, Overcoming Childhood Trauma
- Paul Gilbert, Overcoming Depression
- Julie Smith, Why has Nobody Told me This Before
- Deborah Lee, The Compassionate Mind Approach to Recovering from Trauma
- Robert Leahy, The Worry Cure
- Fiona Challacombe, Break Free From OCD
- Kathryn Gordon, The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook: CBT Skills to Reduce Emotional Pain, Increase Hope and Prevent Suicide
- Thomas Ellis, Choosing To Live: How to Defeat Suicide Through Cognitive Therapy
- Annie Grace, This Naked Mind (podcast exploring the role of alcohol in our lives without judgement)
- Drink Aware
- Julia Samuels, Grief Works
- Cory Muscara, Practicing Human (podcast introducing mindfulness meditation in a gentle and accessible way)
- Cinema therapy (insightful commentary on contemporary movies from a qualified therapist and film maker)
Demystifying therapy
Have you ever wondered what happens in other peoples' therapy sessions? You might find these podcasts to be an enlightening insight into psychological therapy (all clickable links):
